As life happens, sometimes we find ourselves in situations beyond our control, like falling in love with an emotionally unavailable man. Maybe it’s because you were unloved or neglected as a child, leading to questionable choices in men. However, from the goodness of my heart, I’ve compiled these fool proof tips to help you keep such a man around (or at least amuse yourself trying).

1. Tell Him You Love Him

Start by simply telling him you love him. Be brave! Share how much you’ve been thinking about him, how the sound of the wind or the sight of your tooth brush reminds you of him. Write a long, heartfelt paragraph—make it so sweet that bees would swarm your inbox—and then PRESS SEND.

2. Cook for Him

Once you’ve sent that long emotional text, head straight to the kitchen. Channel your feelings into something delicious, palatable, and Instagram-worthy. Pour your heart into that meal like it’s the plot of a Nollywood drama.

Now, call him to let him know you’ve cooked for him. He probably won’t pickup, but don’t despair. After all, hope is the thing with feathers, even if it’s perched on the shoulders of a man who barely cares. Dish the food anyway—you deserve a five-star chef moment.

3. Freshen Up, Smell Amazing, and Look Irresistible

He’s still not answering? No problem. Go freshen up, spray on a nice cologne, and wear something sexy—red is always a winner. Text him to let him know you’re coming over. Oh, what’s that? He finally calls back! But wait, he says, “Hi babes, I traveled to Kano.” Your heart sinks, but keep going—you’re in too deep now.

4. Eat the Food and Talk to God

You notice he responded to your heartfelt text with “kk.” Clearly, he’s swamped with the business of not caring. So, eat the meal you cooked, because at least one person in this equation deserves nourishment.

Now, it’s time to get on your knees and pray. Ask God to take the wheel because clearly, you’ve been driving straight into emotional potholes. Tell Him you don’t know what love is anymore. Share your childhood traumas, your poor choices, and your need for divine intervention.

5. Accept the Block and Move On

Open your eyes and check your phone. What’s this? His number isn’t going through? Check WhatsApp. Oh, blocked there too? Congratulations—God has just fast-tracked your healing process by removing the shaft from your life.

It’s time to pick yourself up. The bottom barrels have rolled away, my love. Go into the world and thrive! Let this be the moment you realize your worth doesn’t lie in cooking, long texts, or low-effort “kk” responses. You’re the main character—act like it.

Final Note:

Love isn’t about chasing someone who isn’t emotionally available. It’s about chasing your dreams, your joy, and your peace. So go on and flourish—you deserve so much more than Kano lies and WhatsApp blocks.