How did the Journey start for you?

I never once dreamt or believed I could be a second wife. Everyone who knows me knows that I’m a lover girl—I’ve always been a lover girl. My parents didn’t have the perfect love life; my father was unfaithful and emotionally abusive. My mother was constantly unhappy, always complaining and nagging. I told myself, “I would never be like that.”

In my eyes, her problem was that she was too vulnerable. I wished she could be wicked, even if just for a while. I hated the victim mentality with passion. Little did I know, I would grow up to become what I despised. It wasn’t until I met my husband and fell in love that I became a real softie.

How did you two meet?
I met him during my final year at the university. He came to visit his younger sister, who was staying in the same hostel as me. After seeing his sister, he approached me, collected my number, and the rest was history. I didn’t know he was married—he didn’t look married either. He was in his early thirties at the time.

How did you find out he was married?
I found out on my convocation day. After introducing him to my parents, he stayed back till the evening. After my parents left, we went for a stroll, and that’s when a woman approached us. She introduced herself as his wife. I was so shocked. I kept waiting for him to refute her claims, but he just stood there repeating, “I can explain,” over and over again to both of us. It was such a dramatic scene. I left in bitter tears, feeling humiliated.

What happened next?
He kept calling me for days, but I blocked him. Then, he showed up at my apartment, and I reluctantly agreed to hear what he had to say. I thought maybe he had a reasonable explanation, so I gave him an audience.

He admitted that he had always wanted to tell me but couldn’t. He said that morally, he was wrong, but not religiously, because as Muslims, he is permitted to have more than one wife. Hearing that enraged me further. I threatened to stab him if he didn’t leave my presence. My neighbors had to intervene and rescue him from my anger. I cried so much and felt dirty, like my world was ending.

So, what happened after that?
I later found out I was pregnant, so I had to reach out to him. I thought I could manage the situation if I were carrying just one child, but it turned out I was having twins. My business could barely cater to my needs, let alone two more lives.

When I called him and told him about the pregnancy, his response was that he would only support me and the unborn children if I became his second wife. I told my parents, and my mother insisted I couldn’t have children out of wedlock. That was the darkest period of my life.

I wanted to punish him—I kept imagining ways to make him suffer—but my reality had changed. My mother introduced me to a prophet who told me it was my destiny to be a second wife. Everyone around me dismissed my concerns, saying it wasn’t a big deal. My values on polygamy became blurry.

I felt so lonely—no one offered real support, only random advice. The father of my children remained distant and cruel. Eventually, I gave in and agreed to be his second wife.

How’s it going as a second wife?
(Chuckles) I’m not sure what you want me to say. I’ve given birth to my twins and have my own apartment. I’m not lacking, and neither are my children. My husband, on the other hand, is already planning to take another wife.

I don’t have a problem with it as long as he continues to take care of me and the children. I can’t say I’m in love with him anymore. For me, this marriage has become transactional and beneficial.

He can do whatever he likes. My happiness comes from my children and my thriving business.